| alcohol units: 6, amount of sleep: 3 hours
oh god. just want to lay with my head near the toilet bowl, like all normal hungover people. Unfortunately I made the somewhat catastrophical mistake to go to college, since this morning (after a cup of coffee) I guessed I would be OK. Coffee and a shower do help, but I'd still have been better off if I'd have gone to bed, since when i looked in the toilet mirror just now a corpse was staring back at me.
ugh. am never going to drink ever again. keep having visions of my lovely warm soft duvet. oh, fuck. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| amount of energy: -329174817, no of coffee: 0 (yet)
Gaaaaaaaaah I wanna sleep. Or go home. Or well basically NOT work the entire day. Ugh. Is own fault. Decided to go to Vienna in November and decided need money for that, so I said to my colleague I could work entire days instead of just the afternoon - not the best idea. I'm not really tired, but lacking energy. And keep having visions of warm duvet and soft bed, plus have tummy ache. And a bad hairday. And am covered in pimples. ARGGG ! It's a hard knock life :( if I didn't have to work today I'd probably lay in bed right know with tea and chocolate cookies, but well. Highlight is I got a piece of birthday cake from the catering lady, so I've had my daily sugar/chocolate/cream intake.
Also have NOTHING interesting to write down. Is also not the best time to be stuck with a writer's block as I still need to write the conclusion to an argumentative piece on Mein Kampf, and I probably won't get away with cliche crap about it being the blackest book in history and we owe it to ourselves blabla. Oh well, have till wednesday, so that's ages. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| alcohol units: 0, confusing text messages: 1
Ugh. Is doom. Have three huge red spots on face, also have a feeling might get a cold and just now, when I was for three miliseconds not thinking about aforementioned drama, I got a text message from Harris asking if I'm going to a certain concert on saturday and if he could please stay with me for the night since he doesn't have anywhere to sleep. HONESTLY. Now I am obviously v. confused, since I know I shouldn't invite him, but there is also a little (or actually huge loud) voice in my head that says I should, since I only live once and who gives a fuck and is only one night and, the worst, if I don't I'll probably regret it. Ugh. Somehow, it seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting caught up in a long life of regretting so I texted back he could. And felt sorry and stupid almost immediately afterwards. Brilliant. The emotional turmoil Nietschze and similar tortured souls went through is nothing compared to the truly exasperating date life I lead. To make matters worse I sort of have a date this friday with another guy I shagged once, last year, and I feel vaguely troubled by the fact I'm probably only going there just to have sex. I can't remember it being all that great, so I'm also wondering why I don't cancel it. Out of curiosity I suppose. But then again, that did kill the cat, as the saying goes...So maybe I should just cancel everything and everyone and wait for mr. Right to come by. However, the thing is I don't want mr. Right, I want mr. Right Now. Oh, and on top of everything, I have a bottle of delicious red wine which makes one forget all ones sorrows (and indeed just about everything else, too) but I don't have a corkscrew. Life's a bitch. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| alcohol units: 2, beach parties to attend: 1
Mental note: will never ever drink vodka again. Ever. Even one tiny glass manages to drain my body of all energy and causes my brain to turn into mashed potatoes. Last friday I had an entire bottle which was even worse and made me feel (when woke up again) like had had an aneurysm. Not to mention the utter nonsense I start to blabber when having had vodka - and the worst thing is I just don't remember. But it must've been good, cos yesterday a roommate asked if I was feeling all right, because he'd started to worry after the things I'd said. I probably did my monologue of all people being whores and the grand illusion that is love. Oh, and according to him I asked if he wanted to spend the night with me.
Hm. Is another reason to avoid vodka - makes me feel bitter and cynical and slutty (well, more than usual). Oh, bugger.
However, no time to think all that through right now since I'm supposed to go to a BEACH PARTY within a couple of hours. Ugh. Last thing I feel like is doing silly games on a windy beach with my dull 40something colleagues. Thank god there's alcohol afterwards. Mmm, there's bound to be some vodka... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| alcohol units: 0, no. of comments about hair: 3 (hmf.)
Tuesday I returned from Paris. Was really grande (which is a word I absolutely despise, but, well), but did wake up with quite a hangover which was caused by a. insomnia and b. my hair. A couple of months ago I went to a salon to get it dyed blonde, since I'd gotten fed up with how it looked. I had an idyllic picture of Keira Knightley and similar godesses in mind, but got quite a shock when hairdresser removed towel, since it wasn't exactly blonde as much as red. Over the summer it only got worse as it grew - the natural colour of my hair being rather dark, I started to look like a clown on crack. Not a pretty thing, so called salon early in the morning (another salon, obviously) and a sweet silent chinese boy dyed my hair brown again. It happens to be about the same colour as Penelope Cruz, who is on gorgeous MANGO posters all over in town, so feel v. content. Will just have to accept fact am not a blondie girl (or a redhead). It does make my face look pale, but have decided am going to invest in rouge, sun spa and coloured clothes. Ha! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| alcohol unıts:0, calories: 200? (ha! ahahaha am finally losing weıght)
Am on holiday and is lovely. Except my frıends overestımated Turkey just a tıny little bıt and in theır overenthusıasm booked for two weeks. The consequence is we've had enough of hanging on the beach all day by now and resided to this internet cafe to kill some time. Turkish keypad is weird though, with the i on the wrong place and all. Suddenly makes you aware of how frequently i is used. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| alcohol units: 3, no. of irritable people being irritable: 2
Ugh. Am at office and everyone is cranky. Is not my bloody fault it's monday morning. Am not going to be bothered, though, since am comforting self with idea this is just a little job and will never be serious WORK, thank god. Don't know how people manage to work here fulltime without help of prozac or heroin. Is one of the bleak futures I definetely hope to avoid - ideas of wodka and a bottle of pills (preferably lethal in large quantities) are actually more tempting.
Anyway, Chris texted me the other night whether I felt like watching a movie someday this week. Bloody bastard. Last friday I suggested we could go and drink something somewhere (since felt bored and well, everyone was out of town) and he came up with a lame excuse. Also he didn't seem to pay me any attention anymore whatsoever since he found himself (again) some trashy internet girl. So I reckoned he's a sod and not worth bothering anymore and now he's all of a sudden texting me again in the middle of night. Huh. Probably discovered his nouveau digital darling isn't as desperate as she seems. Or isn't as good-looking as she seems. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Ok. Have developed strategy. Will need to detach and focus on self instead of trying to get attention from everyone (well, men, obviously). Someone who is gagging for it is definetely v. unattractive, so am not going to bother about that. Sex is overrated, anyway. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Though, am not as pathetic as one of my colleagues. Eve (fellow receptionist) told me he's a true workaholic and does not have a wife. Or a girlfriend. He's also ALWAYS sulky so there's someone who really needs to get laid. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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